Resurrection – Chapter Twenty-Eight

When Skylar got back to the cabin, he expected to come home to Tyler halfway through a panic attack. Maybe pacing. Maybe sitting by the front door. Maybe curled up on the living room floor with his hands pressed against his chest. He’d spent the entire walk home preparing for the fallout.

Instead, he found Tyler at the kitchen table staring at the opposite wall. He looked…calm. Almost too calm. Slowly, Skylar stepped inside, closing the door quietly behind himself. “Hey,” he greeted, crossing the cabin to the refrigerator for a bottle of water though his attention never left his brother.

“You’re back,” Tyler greeted in return, his glowing eyes lifting immediately to look at Skylar. A wide smile came to his lips. There wasn’t relief in his voice – there was certainty. He rose from the chair and crossed the room without hesitation. “I knew you would come back.” He stopped just in front of Skylar, his hands hovering uncertainly before he asked, “Can I touch you? I missed you. I missed you so much.”

His immediate reaction was to say yes. But the warnings Venus had just given him rang through his head like a mantra. Was he helping Tyler when he allowed him those moments of contact for relief? Or was he hurting him? The thought twisted in his stomach. “Um…” Skylar started, forcing himself not to give in this time. He hated the uncertainty in Tyler’s glowing eyes. “I-I don’t think it’s a good idea right now.” He gave a small, apologetic shake of his head. “M-Maybe later.”

As soon as Skylar told him no, Tyler’s face fell. Then a jolt of pain shot through his chest, making him flinch. “But…I missed you,” Tyler tried again, his voice cracking. “I know I…pushed too far. And I’m sorry. I just…wanted to be closer to you.” He swallowed hard before continuing, “Please…don’t punish me. I won’t do it again.”

Skylar’s heart sank. Tyler thought he was punishing him, but that was so far from the truth. He was trying to help him.Venus’ word echoed through his mind once more, forcing him to push through the hurt. 

The worst part was knowing that Tyler wasn’t lying. He probably believed he wouldn’t do it again. But Venus had made one thing painfully clear – Tyler wasn’t choosing these impulses. He wasn’t manipulating Skylar. His mind simply kept reaching for the one thing that made the pain stop. If nothing changed, it wasn’t a question of if it would happen again. It was a question of when. 

“I’m not punishing you,” Skylar said softly, his brows knitting together. “I would never punish you.” He took a cautious step closer, resisting the urge to close the distance completely. “Ty…look at you,” he continued. A small, encouraging smile tugged at his lips. “I was gone for nearly an hour and a half.”

Slowly, Tyler’s eyes lifted to meet Skylar’s. “And you got through it,” Skylar continued. He smiled a little wider. “You’re hurting, I know. But you’re standing here talking to me. You’re not having a panic attack.” Skylar couldn’t keep the pride from creeping into his voice. “Ty…that’s huge.”

He didn’t understand. Skylar was telling him how proud he was – telling him he’d done a good job – but he was still refusing the one thing that made the ache go away. His brow furrowed. “So, because I’m not freaking out…you won’t help me feel better?” he asked quietly. “I-I don’t understand. Do-Do you want me to freak out? Is that the only way you’ll touch me?”

Again, Skylar’s stomach dropped. “No,” he answered immediately. “Ty, that is not what this is about.” He took another cautious step forward. “I’m trying to help you. I just want to show you that you’re capable of being on your own. That nothing bad is going to happen when I leave.”

Tyler froze. When I leave. The words echoed in his mind, drowning everything else out. He stumbled back a step, shaking his head. “W-When you leave?” he repeated, his glowing eyes darting frantically around the room. This was too much. The walls felt like they were closing in on him. 

Immediately, Skylar realized his mistake. “No, Ty, that’s not what I meant,” he assured his brother, shaking his head. “Tyler, stop. I’m not leaving. I’m not going anywhere. I just meant for the short periods of time when I’m gone. Like football practice and school when it starts back up.”

But nothing was getting through to Tyler. This is exactly what Venus had warned him about. Thirty minutes – he hadn’t even made it thirty minutes. Because there was no way he could hold out right now. Pulling away from Tyler while he was like this would have just been…cruel. 

His hand shot out, catching Tyler’s wrist before he even realized what he was doing. He pressed Tyler’s palm flat against his own heartbeat. “Listen to me,” he said, sharper than he’d intended. He caught Tyler’s jaw in his other hand, forcing those glowing blue eyes to meet his. “Do you feel that? I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

The panic eased almost immediately. Of course it did. He’d done exactly what Venus had told him not to do. He’d taken the easy way out…again. Only…who was this helping? Tyler had been fine until Skylar opened his damn mouth. And then he’d panicked. And Skylar reinforced the idea that when Tyler panics, he’s there to fix it. God, he was so stupid.

Almost immediately, Tyler’s breathing steadied. His long, narrow fingers twitched against Skylar’s skin, those glowing orbs boring so deeply into Skylar’s eyes that he was sure he could see right through him. In an attempt to break the eye contact, Skylar released Tyler’s jaw. Tyler whispered something too quietly for Skylar to make out. Before he could ask what he’d said, Tyler leaned in and crushed their lips together.

This time, Skylar didn’t allow Tyler to deepen the kiss. He pulled back almost as soon as their lips made contact, pressing his own hand against Tyler’s chest. “Stop,” he breathed, his voice nearly inaudible. His tongue felt heavy. Tyler had done it again. 

No – Skylar had. He’d soothed the panic exactly the way Venus warned him not to, and Tyler had just reacted without thinking. He couldn’t compartmentalize anymore. At least that’s what Venus believed. Every time Tyler reached for him, he was reaching for relief. And there was nothing more intimate – nothing that promised more closeness – than sex.

But Skylar needed to ask himself where his limits were. And sex was a pretty damn hard limit. Venus had told him to decide where his limit was. That had to be it. This had to be the line. Tyler was his brother. Skylar was in love with Jessie. Whatever Tyler needed from him, this couldn’t be one of those things.

“Why?” Tyler asked, his voice cracking. He bit into his bottom lip as he pressed more firmly against Skylar’s chest. “I need you.” 

Skylar squeezed his eyes closed. He knew Tyler needed him. That was the problem. “I know,” Skylar answered softly, fighting the urge to pull his brother into an embrace. “But I don’t know how to help you anymore.”

Tyler’s head tilted to the side in a gesture that reminded Skylar of the way Venus looked at him sometimes. “What do you mean?” Tyler asked. “You help me every day. Just by being here. By picking me.” His voice softened. “ I just…I need you to pick me, Sky. No matter what happens. No matter who else is there. No matter what you have to give up.”

Unable to suppress the scoff, Skylar looked up at the ceiling, fighting back the tears that were burning hot behind his eyes. “I do!” he assured his brother. “And that’s the problem. I’m worried that everything I do makes things worse for you and not better. What if what you need from me is hurting you? What if every time I fix the pain, I’m teaching you that you can’t survive it? But I can’t just watch you suffer. I won’t.”

Again, Tyler frowned in confusion. “Why would you want me to survive without you?” Tyler asked, genuinely curious. “You couldn’t without me. That’s why we’re here in the first place, right? Because you needed me.”

His mouth opened, but nothing came out. Because that was the part he hated the most. Tyler wasn’t completely wrong. Skylar had needed him. He still did. That was why this was so terrifying. Because somewhere along the way, needing Tyler had turned into losing himself.

However, before he could say anything else, his phone buzzed in his pocket. Roughly, he pulled the device out and glanced at the screen. “It’s Mom,” he explained, glancing up at his brother. “She wants to have dinner on Sunday.”

Yet again, someone was trying to take Skylar away from him. But Tyler wasn’t going to make a big deal about it. He didn’t want to push too hard. Skylar already seemed on edge. “Okay,” he answered with a small nod. “You should go. She can’t find out I’m back. It’ll destroy her. Until we can figure out something more permanent, I don’t think you have a choice.”

For a brief moment, Skylar felt relief. Tyler wasn’t yelling. He wasn’t grabbing him. He wasn’t panicking. He was trying. And somehow, that almost made it worse. Because it showed that Tyler could still show restraint. When he wanted to.

~~

Sunday came a lot faster than Skylar was ready for. He took his shower and dressed in a dark pair of blue jeans, boots, and a white henley. He skipped the leather jacket because it was the dead of summer and he didn’t think he’d need it. By 5pm, he was ready to head over to his childhood home and face his parents.

Slowly, he descended the stairs, moving to the fridge to grab a bottle of water for the road. Tyler was sitting at the table playing Solitaire. It reminded Skylar of when they’d been stuck at the dorms on a rainy day – the memory felt like a shot through the heart. They weren’t those brothers anymore. “I’m heading out,” he announced, biting into his bottom lip as he waited for the other show to finally drop.

Glowing blue eyes slowly lifted to meet Skylar’s gaze, Tyler’s face absolutely unreadable. “Alright,” he answered with a small nod. “I’ll be here when you get back.” Smirking slightly, Tyler glanced around the cabin. “Not like I can really go anywhere, right? I mean…people are probably still visiting my grave. Mourning me. So I’m kinda stuck here.”

Skylar’s breath hitched in his throat. Honestly, he hadn’t even thought about that. All of those times he’d visited the gravesite looking for Venus, and it had never occurred to him that his parents might show up. “Um…I-I don’t know,” he answered with a shake of his head. “Maybe. They didn’t mention anything to me about it. They just said dinner. But…I guess it’s not a far-fetched thought.”

“Okay,” Tyler muttered, turning his attention back to the card game he’d been playing. “You might want to bring some leftovers home. You’re running low on food.” Placing an eight of spades on top of a nine of diamonds, Tyler added, “And while you’re out if you wanna stop at the store and get water, too. You can’t stay hydrated if we have no water bottles.”

As Tyler listed off the chores Skylar needed to complete before coming back, Skylar nodded. It was such an ordinary conversation that it almost hurt. Grocery lists. Water bottles. Leftovers. For a fleeting second, Skylar could almost pretend none of the last few months had happened. Almost. “Okay, yeah, I can do that,” he answered. “Do you need anything else while I’m out?” He asked out of habit, without even thinking. 

At Skylar’s question, Tyler looked up from the deck of cards again, a small frown on his lips. “Just come back,” he answered. His tone wasn’t questioning – it was absolute. Calm – like he knew the outcome before he even suggested it.

For half a second, Skylar froze. “Yeah,” he finally breathed. “I will. I’ll see you later.” With that, Skylar headed out the door and climbed into his JEEP. He half expected Tyler to come running out of the cabin to beg him to come back inside, but it didn’t happen. Sighing, Skylar started the JEEP, shaking his head at himself. “Get a grip, Briggs,” he chastised himself. “You’re fine. It’s just fucking dinner.” With one last sigh, Skylar pulled away from the cabin and headed toward his parents’ home.

When he pulled up to the driveway, he frowned at the sight of Jessie’s car in the driveway. His parents hadn’t mentioned inviting her. This just got a whole lot more complicated. Jessie knew about Tyler. Even if she didn’t believe Skylar – which he was pretty positive that she didn’t – she still knew. He just hoped like hell she didn’t bring it up tonight.

Once he was inside the house, Skylar was greeted by his mother and father and then finally Jessie. They ushered him into the dining room and started with the appetizers for dinner. So far, no one was letting on that they knew Tyler was back, so Skylar allowed himself to relax just a bit. 

Overall, the conversation and the dinner were all normal. How had his last few weeks of school been? How was football? What was on the lineup for next semester? His father even cracked jokes about him dropping out of his law classes and focusing more on football, which was also normal. However, the fantasy shattered when his parents suggested that they go visit Tyler’s grave. 

He didn’t want to go there. But if he declined, would it make him look guilty? Like he was trying to hide something? His mother would definitely have questions. After all, what kind of a brother wouldn’t want to visit his brother’s gravesite and mourn him? Especially when they had been so close during life? 

His eyes ticked to Jessie, realizing that his girlfriend’s attention was completely focused on him. Her expression was unreadable. He was so screwed. “Uh…y-yeah, we can go,” he answered finally with a small nod. “Just…let me clear my plate first.”

Because the cemetery was so close to the house and it was a nice, warm summer evening, they decided to walk. Skylar hung back while his parents led the way, speaking softly to one another. Jessie was in the middle, walking just a few steps ahead of Skylar, but not too far away that he couldn’t catch up if he wanted to. And honestly, he wanted to. Not only because he missed his girlfriend, but he desperately wanted to know if she’d said anything to his parents.

Quickly, he closed the distance between them, lacing his fingers with Jessie’s. When she didn’t pull away, he assumed that was a good sign. “How are you?” he asked finally, not really sure how to interact with the woman anymore. He felt like he had to second-guess himself at every turn.

“I’m okay,” Jessie answered, smiling up at her boyfriend. “How have you been?” Her brows knit with concern as she allowed their shoulders to bump against each other. “You look a little pale. Is this too much for you?”

A small, sad chuckle escaped his lips at Jessie’s question. Yes, it was. “I don’t know,” he answered finally. “I mean…I know they want to see him. Grieve. Or…whatever people do at gravesites.” Frowning slightly, Skylar muttered, “Only, he’s not there, so it’s weird to me.” His eyes slowly ticked up to meet Jessie’s. “You didn’t tell them about Tyler, did you?”

Jessie’s face fell at the question. “Of course not,” she assured him. “You asked me not to tell anyone, and I said I wouldn’t.” Honestly, she was a bit hurt. Skylar had never questioned her loyalty before, so she didn’t know where this was coming from. “Besides, you of all people know how crazy it sounds. I’m not even sure I believe it, honestly.”

Nodding, Skylar muttered, “Yeah, I know.” He probably wouldn’t have believed it if he wasn’t living it at the moment. After all, people were taught magic wasn’t real. If you believed in it, it made you a freak. Made you some sort of outcast. It wasn’t normal. 

Before he could say anything else, his mother turned around and smiled at the two of them. “What are you two whispering about?” she teased, raising her eyebrow playfully.

“Just making plans for tomorrow after football practice,” Jessie lied, a wide smile splitting her face. “We’ve been trying to spend more time together over the last few weeks since we didn’t get to see a lot of each other during finals. We were both so busy.”

Satisfied with the answer, Jennifer turned her attention back to her husband. Skylar frowned at Jessie when her smile fell away. He opened his mouth to speak, but she interrupted him. “I don’t actually think you’re spending the day with me tomorrow,” she assured him. “I just didn’t want to tell her what we were actually talking about. Don’t panic.”

Now, it was Skylar’s turn to frown. “I’m not panicking,” he assured her. “And it’s not like that. You know I would spend the day with you if I could.” After tonight though, there was no way he could convince Tyler to let him leave the house again. Honestly, he was waiting for Tyler to beg him to cancel his football practice since he was gone so long tonight. He wouldn’t be surprised, that was for sure. “Tyler just…gets freaked out now when I’m not there. He has…abandonment issues.”

Again, Jessie frowned. “Skylar, that’s not just abandonment issues.” She could see that Skylar was getting upset, so she quickly tried to de-escalate the situation. She didn’t want to fight. “Look, I’m not trying to piss you off. But if what you’ve been saying is true…and you’ve been spending every second with Tyler, that’s…a lot.” Her chocolate eyes were sad when they met his gaze. “I mean…everyone has fears. But if someone can’t function while you’re gone, that’s not just missing someone.”

She was right. Tyler didn’t just miss him. He needed him. And it was anything but healthy. But it wasn’t like he could just flip a switch and change things. He’d taught Tyler, unintentionally, to believe that he would always be there to make the ache go away. And it was going to take a while to teach him otherwise. “It’s complicated, Jessie,” he tried, not sure how else to explain it.

Although they didn’t have much time since they were already walking into the cemetery, Jessie needed answers. “How complicated?” she asked, her eyes searching Skylar’s face, begging for an explanation.

“He thinks he can’t exist without me,” Skylar whispered. Jessie went silent. This was the first time Skylar had said it out loud. And he knew how it sounded. “I know how that sounds,” he admitted quietly. “Like I’m saying I’m the center of his world. Like I think I’m more important than I am. But Jessie, I swear to God, I don’t want that. I don’t want him to need me like that.”

Another frown came to Jessie’s lips. She blinked back tears as she shook her head. “That’s not how it sounds,” she assured her boyfriend. “It actually sounds dangerous. Obsessive, even. Aren’t you worried that if he really feels that way, he’ll hurt you?”

Immediately, Skylar answered, “No, Tyler would never hurt me.” Sure, he’d grabbed him, and he’d crossed multiple boundaries, but that wasn’t his fault! He’d just lost control. And Skylar had been able to handle it. He was still handling it! Tyler wouldn’t push him too far.

It was honestly hard to watch Skylar like this. If this was all a delusion, it was very in depth. And it made Jessie worry for his mental health even more. However, she had seen the bruise for herself, so she allowed herself to at least entertain the idea. “Skylar, you told me that Tyler gave you that bruise. So, he clearly hurt you. Maybe…unintentionally, but he still did. Did you ever stop to think that maybe…he’s not the same Tyler you knew? When he looks at you, does he look at you like your brother?”

Skylar opened his mouth to answer, but nothing came out. Because yes, he looked like Tyler. He acted like Tyler. He was Tyler. He was just…different now. And Skylar could never forget it, even if he wanted to. Those glowing blue eyes wouldn’t allow it. “He’s my brother. He’d never hurt me, Jessie.”

They’d arrived at the gravesite, so the conversation was over as far as Skylar was concerned. He watched as his mother kneeled by the headstone, tears rolling down her cheeks as his father pressed a steady hand against her shoulder to comfort her. And he felt like an idiot for being here – Tyler wasn’t here, so why the hell should he be? 

His thoughts kept circling back to Tyler, tightening the knot already twisting in his stomach. He’d broken away from Jessie when they’d arrived at the gravesite, so he hung back, not wanting to get too close. For some reason, he almost felt like he was invading on a moment for his parents that he shouldn’t be involved in. Instead, he pulled out his phone, typing out a quick message to Tyler. They wanted to visit your grave. We’re here now. It’s weird. Are you okay?

I’m fine, Sky. I’ll see you when you get back. 

The response was both comforting and unsettling at the same time. His mind ticked back to the time he’d walked into the cabin to find Tyler bleeding from a self-inflicted knife wound. God, he hoped Tyler wasn’t doing anything stupid. The possibility had him nearly bouncing on his heels. However, when he looked up at the treeline, his blood ran cold when he saw two bright, glowing green eyes staring back at him.