Tyler shook the bottle of water vigorously as he watched Skylar climb out of the driver’s side of the JEEP. They’d been moving things into the cabin all day, and the sun was about to go down. Sure, they weren’t able to take all of their belongings because it would have looked suspicious, but Skylar had at least grabbed the desk out of their dorm room so Tyler had somewhere to do his schoolwork. The other man was always looking out for him.
“Here, hydrate,” Tyler ordered, tossing the Liquid IV infused water bottle to his brother. “You were working hard today and I don’t think I’ve seen you take a drink since this morning. Doctor’s orders.” He smiled slightly when his brother twisted off the cap and downed half of the bottle in one go.
Rolling his eyes, Skylar closed the bottle of water and tucked it into his back pocket. “You’re not a doctor yet,” he reminded with a small chuckle. He had to admit that he was grateful for the water. He had been pretty thirsty, but he’d wanted to get this all done. After all, it wasn’t like they had the luxury of time to set up this cabin. If they’d had time, they wouldn’t have even been here.
Slowly, Skylar took a deep breath before he grabbed his bag and headed toward the front door of the cabin. “Bags are in the trunk,” he explained, pointing toward the JEEP. “I just got some essentials like toothpaste and body wash and stuff to get us through for a few days. I figured I can make another run later after practice if we need anything.”
Without hesitation, Tyler grabbed the bags from the trunk before jogging to catch up to Skylar. He couldn’t quell the excitement that was welling up inside of him. They were finally here – alone, in the cabin where no one would be able to bother them. No one even knew about this place. He was finally going to have his brother all to himself.
However, at the mention of practice, his face fell slightly, his steps fumbling just for a moment. Practice? Right. Skylar still planned on leaving him every day. He still had responsibilities like school and football. And Tyler wanted him to do those things – really, he did. But there had been a part of him that thought maybe this cabin would change things. Maybe they could have just been here together, sleeping in, drinking coffee on the back porch, and just existing – together.
But that didn’t seem like it was in the cards for them right now. Sure, school was almost over for the semester, but neither of them were anywhere near graduating. Both of them had at least another four years of education to get under their belts before starting their actual careers. So, while Tyler understood it, that didn’t mean he had to like it.
Before Tyler could say anything though, Skylar was already pushing the door open and heading inside. It was fine though. They’d have plenty of time to talk about things later. Once Skylar got used to being here, he’d understand.
The cabin wasn’t extravagant by any means, but it was definitely nice. There was a big, open floor plan with a large living room and a dining area that led to a huge back porch. The basement was fully finished, and Tyler had already taken it upon himself to turn that into a home gym for himself and Skylar. After all, they hadn’t been able to workout together since Tyler had come back, and he was itching for another session. He’d always enjoyed just kicking back and lifting weights with his brother. And Skylar would always spot him and make sure to push him beyond what Tyler thought his limits were. And Skylar was always right – Tyler could handle more than he thought.
On the second floor, there was a large bathroom with both a shower and a tub. And yes, the water pressure and temperature were both amazing – Tyler had made sure to check while he was setting up the home gym. Right down the hall from that amazing bathroom was the bedroom. The only bedroom.
A small smile played at Tyler’s lips as he imagined falling asleep next to his brother every night. When they were younger, they’d done it all of the time. Tyler remembered how safe he’d felt every time it happened. He had been prone to nightmares when he’d been younger, so it wasn’t uncommon for him to crawl into Skylar’s bed for comfort. And his brother provided that – every time.
Of course, when they’d gotten older, Tyler had figured out a way to manage the nightmares. Therapy and a lot of work on himself kept the nightmares at bay, and he hadn’t needed Skylar’s bed anymore. Even now – especially now – Tyler didn’t need Skylar’s bed. He just wanted it. So badly. The thought alone was enough to have his body reacting without his permission.
“I’ll take the couch,” Skylar muttered as he walked into the kitchen and started digging into the food bags. He’d picked up something quick from a fast food joint beside the convenience store while he was out. It wasn’t fancy, but at least it was food. They could find something better tomorrow. After all, from his preliminary sweep of the cabin, it looked like the pantry and the fridge had been fully stocked at least.
Shock was clear on Tyler’s face at his brother’s words. “What?” he asked, quickly closing the gap between himself and Skylar. He didn’t miss the way his brother took a cautious step back when he got so close. “You can’t sleep on the couch. It looks really uncomfortable. And you’ve been killing yourself with football practice.”
While it was true that the couch wasn’t an ideal option, it was really the only one Skylar could see. There was only one bedroom, and he wasn’t going to sleep on a bed while he brother suffered on the couch. Tyler had been through enough – he could handle this much for him. “I can sleep on the couch. You can take the bed. It’s fine.”
Of course Skylar was trying to take the high road and let Tyler have everything nice. It’s what he’d done since they were little. Well, Tyler was done with that. He understood that maybe he’d moved a little bit too fast the other night, but he wasn’t going to let Skylar hurt himself. Just because the other man was still trying to deny that there was something between them – taking it slow, or whatever the hell Skylar was doing right now – he wasn’t going to let up. “You’re not sleeping on the couch,” he argued once more. “The bed is plenty big enough. It’s a California King. We can both sleep there.”
Skylar’s stomach tightened immediately. A week ago, he wouldn’t have thought twice about sharing a bed with Tyler. Hell, when they were younger, they’d practically lived in each other’s beds. But now, after the kiss, things just weren’t the same. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?” he asked, eyes ticking to the stairs before returning to Tyler’s.
“It sure beats you sleeping on the uncomfortable couch and potentially hurting yourself,” Tyler answered without hesitation. “Why wouldn’t it be?” Again, he tried to close the distance between himself and his brother, but Skylar dodged and took a seat on one of the chairs tucked under the breakfast nook. “Are you…afraid of me?”
The question hit harder than Skylar expected. Was he afraid of him? No. At least not in the way he assumed Tyler thought. Tyler had never hurt him. He’d never threatened him. He’d never given him a reason to think he was in danger. But that didn’t mean everything was okay. It was far from it.
Sighing, Skylar ran a hand down his face, trying to collect his thoughts. “I…don’t know,” he finally admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. The words seemed to hit Tyler harder than if he’d just said yes outright. “It’s not you, Ty.” But the lie tasted bitter the second it left his mouth.
Because it was Tyler. Or, at least the version of Tyler standing in front of him right now. Everything had changed. The way he looked at him. The way he touched him. The way he seemed to need him every second of every day. And it was all Skylar’s fault. Because he’d done the resurrection spell! So it wasn’t like he could even blame Tyler! And that somehow made everything worse.
Again, Skylar sighed, squashing down the guilt he was feeling. He didn’t have the right to deal with his own feelings right now. He needed to make sure Tyler was okay. He couldn’t blame Tyler for what his miracle had forced him to become. Skylar had asked for this. That’s what Venus had told him anyway. “I just…things are weird right now,” Skylar tried to placate, not wanting this to turn into something more than it needed to be.
However, Tyler seemed to want to talk about it. His jaw tightened before he said, “Weird because I kissed you.” It wasn’t a question. He knew Skylar was freaked out by it. How could he not?! The man had literally jumped off the couch so fast he’d nearly tripped over his own two feet and ran out of the house. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“I know,” Skylar assured him. “Look, we don’t need to talk about this, okay?” They’d talked about this extensively while Tyler was basically having a full blown panic attack, and honestly, Skylar wasn’t sure if he had it in him to talk about this anymore.
That was exactly true though. Skylar may not have needed to talk about it, but Tyler sure as hell did. “No, I do need to talk about this,” Tyler argued. “I need to know what we’re supposed to do now.”
A deep frown came to Skylar’s lips at his brother’s question. He didn’t know what they were supposed to do, dammit! He just knew that they were stuck here at the cabin, and they needed to figure out sleeping arrangements. And honestly, that was enough to push him over the damn edge after the last few days. “What do you mean?” he asked, sighing once more as he put his sandwich down on the counter. He wasn’t hungry anymore.
Without thinking, Tyler took another step forward, his shin bumping against Skylar’s knee. “I mean…you keep saying we don’t need to talk about it,” he explained, ice blue eyes boring holes into his brother’s identical ones. “But it happened.” The words hung heavily between them. “I kissed you.”
At the mention of the kiss again, Skylar broke their eye contact. But Tyler didn’t let him get away with it this time. His hand shot out, gripping Skylar’s chin and gently forcing him to look at him once more. “I’m not asking you to kiss me back,” he assured the other man. It was a lie. Or maybe it wasn’t. Honestly, even Tyler wasn’t sure at this moment. “But I need to know where we stand.” His voice cracked as he thought of how terrible he felt when Skylar ran away from him. “Because I can’t keep pretending I don’t feel it.”
Guilt clawed at Skylar’s chest when he saw how broken his brother seemed to be over this. The people you love become the center of your world. That’s what Venus said to him the night Tyler kissed him. But she was so vague about everything! If she would just come out and say what she meant, Skylar could prepare for this better! But she was no help! “We’re gonna get through this,” Skylar assured his brother. “I’m not going to leave you, if that’s what you’re thinking. I would never do that to you. But you need to be honest with me. I need to know everything that’s happened since you came back.”
Tyler froze. Everything? He’d wanted honesty, but he wasn’t sure if he was ready to tell Skylar the entirety of everything. Some things weren’t relevant, he supposed. Like the fact that he deleted text messages from Jessie, or the fact that he’d spent hours scouring the internet for gay porn so he wouldn’t be completely clueless when the time came for him and Skylar to take their relationship to the next level. Things like that weren’t really necessary.
“Um…” he started, licking his lips. “I’ve been…different.” Tyler didn’t even know where to start. “I’ve been checking my vitals a lot. My heart rate has decreased. A lot. It’s staying steady around 20 beats per minute. And my resp rate is really low, too. Around 10. I, um…run colder than I used to. 96 degrees the last time I checked. And…my eyes…they…glow.” He felt vulnerable. Like he was telling his brother some big secret that he wasn’t supposed to keep.
Honestly, Skylar wasn’t sure what the normal vital signs were for a person, but he was sure if Tyler was telling him that his were abnormal, he wasn’t going to question it. He wasn’t going to say anything because this wasn’t about judging Tyler. This was about trying to understand him. “Okay,” he breathed. “What else?”
Tyler’s eyes ticked to the food sitting on the counter that was meant for him. “I…don’t eat,” he explained. “I just…never get hungry. I tried to eat – to force it down so I could feel normal again – but it’s terrible. Everything tastes like ash on my tongue. It’s torture trying to get it down.”
When Skylar didn’t say anything else, Tyler continued, “And I don’t sleep.” He could see the wheels turning in his brother’s head. And honestly, it terrified him. He was a freak now. Tyler knew that. But he’d accepted it. “It’s like my body doesn’t function like a normal, living person anymore. I’m up and I’m walking around and I’m talking to you, but it’s like my body still thinks I’m dead, or something.”
His mind was reeling. Tyler had been dealing with all of this on his own. His brother hadn’t even thought to mention any of it to him so that he could try to help him – try to manage the problem! “Why didn’t you tell me any of this?” Skylar asked, trying not to sound accusatory. Because he wasn’t accusing Tyler of anything. He just wanted to know why he didn’t feel safe enough to let him know what was going on.
Shrugging, Tyler answered, “Because I knew you would worry. And I didn’t really understand what was happening to me. I didn’t have any answers for you.” Snorting out a laugh, Tyler continued, “I still don’t. I just have weeks of data to compare to the stupid notes Venus left you when she gave you the ritual. But there’s nothing in there to explain any of this.”
If there had been anything in there, Skylar would have found it. He’d poured through all of that information more times than he could count. And he was sure Tyler had done the same. “I know there isn’t,” he assured the other man. “And Venus hasn’t exactly been helpful in that category, either.”
“You’ve spoken to Venus?” Tyler asked, eyes ticking back to Skylar once more. “What did she say? Did she tell you anything else? About the resurrection spell? Or about me?” Venus knew more than what he’d told Skylar. And if she’d opened her mouth and told Skylar something, Tyler needed to know so he could come clean!
The mere mention of her name these days pissed Skylar off. “Yeah,” he answered with a shrug. “She didn’t say anything. Not useful, anyway. She’s vague. And she talks in riddles.” Again, Skylar sighed. “Look, I don’t know a lot about medical stuff, but I do know that twenty beats per minute is not normal.”
Before he could stop himself, Tyler snapped, “Neither is coming back from the dead.” He could have sworn he saw his brother flinch at the words. “I don’t know what’s happening to me. But I’ve been dealing with it the best way I know how. And I’m fine, Skylar. Really, I’m fine.”
Fine – that was hilarious. There was nothing fine about this situation. “Okay, so that’s the physical side of it,” Skylar muttered. “What about everything else? These…feelings…they’re new, right? You never felt like this before? So talk to me about it. Tell me everything.”
There was that word again – everything. If he knew everything, he would have gladly laid it all out on the table for the other man. But this was so complicated. Tyler barely knew which way was up anymore. All he knew was that Skylar was everything. “I…” he started, only to snap his mouth shut again. “I don’t think so.”
The shift in the room was tangible. “What do you mean?” Skylar asked, eyes intent on Tyler’s face. It was like he was watching his every move. Waiting for Tyler to do something – anything. But neither of them knew how to navigate through this.
Tyler dragged his hands through his hair, trying to find the words. “I don’t mean the kiss,” he assured Skylar. Honestly, he’d never felt a need to kiss Skylar before. That was definitely new. But everything else – he just wasn’t sure. “You’ve always been my favorite person.”
Immediately, Skylar’s face softened. He felt the same way about his brother. His partner in crime – they’d been close their entire lives. Which is exactly why Skylar hadn’t been able to handle losing him. “Ty–”
“No, don’t,” Tyler cut him off. “Listen.” He took a step back, crossing his arms over his chest. He felt like there wasn’t enough air in the room. This conversation had taken a turn, and Tyler just didn’t know what his brother wanted from him. “When we were kids, you were the first person I would look for when I woke up.” His eyes dropped to the floor. “When something good happened, I wanted to tell you first.”
A humorless laugh escaped him as he continued, “When something bad happened, I wanted you.” The silence was deafening. The room was unbearably quiet. “I don’t know if these feelings are new.” Slowly, his eyes moved to lock on Skylar once more. “I think they’re just…different now.” His jaw tightened as he tried to think of the best way to explain it. “Like someone took every feeling I’ve ever had about you and turned the volume all the way up. And I don’t know how to turn it back down.”
The way Tyler’s voice cracked at the end of his sentence broke something inside of Skylar. He’d done this. The way Tyler was feeling – it was all his fault. Because he’d been selfish. And now, his brother needed him to be selfless. And Skylar could do that. Without hesitation, he pushed himself out of the chair and closed the gap between the two of them. His hands gripped Tyler’s arms, holding him steady. “Hey, we’re gonna get through this together, okay?”
Although Tyler nodded, Skylar could see there was doubt behind his eyes. “We’re going to figure this out,” he tried again. “Trust me. And I’m here for you. Whatever you need. I’m gonna take care of you.” When his brother slowly returned his nod, Skylar felt somewhat better.
Still, this conversation had been heavy, and he was officially tapped out. Skylar had never really been one to express his feelings, but he knew Tyler was the exact opposite. He always had been. “But hey, if you don’t sleep anyway, I’ll take you up on that offer to sleep in the bed.”
A loud laugh bubbled out of Tyler’s chest, officially breaking the heaviness in the room. Nothing was fixed – honestly, Skylar wasn’t sure it could be fixed. But for the moment, everything was okay. “And I’m eating your chicken sandwich.”
Tyler laughed again, making no move to stop his brother from tearing into his sandwich. The tension finally eased from his chest. Skylar was staying. He knew. He knew about the changes. The strange vitals. The sleepless nights. The feelings Tyler couldn’t control. And he was still here.
Not only that, he was sleeping in the same bed. Tyler couldn’t stop smiling. Maybe Venus had been right. Maybe Skyler just needed time. Time to understand. Time to stop fighting what was already there. Because Skylar had every opportunity to leave. And he hadn’t.