Resurrection – Chapter Twenty-Seven

Skylar sighed as he pushed through the door. Tyler was there almost immediately, his hand pressing against Skylar’s chest. “I told her everything,” Skylar explained. “I don’t know if she believed me. But at least now she knows.”

“So now she won’t keep bothering you?” Tyler asked, his glowing eyes locked on the spot where his hand was pressed against Skylar’s heart. “She knows that you’re with me and you don’t have time for her anymore?”

A small frown came to Skylar’s lips when Tyler spoke. “Ty, it’s not like that,” he argued with a shake of his head. “I mean, yeah, I told her that I was with you. And that I needed to focus on making sure you’re alright. And that I can’t be there for her like I used to be. But I didn’t tell her that I don’t have time for her. Ty, you know eventually I want us all to be able to spend time together.”

Now, it was Tyler’s turn to frown. “I don’t want that,” he reminded his brother. “I don’t want to spend time with Jessie. I want to spend time with you.” His eyes ticked up to lock with Skylar’s. “I already told you that. I don’t want her here. This is our cabin.”

He wasn’t sure he could mentally handle this right now. Talking to Jessie had been emotionally taxing, and now Tyler was going to come at him again about spending time with him. “I know that,” he bit out. “I’m not saying we need to invite her here. I’m just saying that after a while, if you’re okay with it, we can all hang out. I’m not pushing anything, Tyler.”

Pushing against Skylar’s chest, Tyler growled, “Then stop saying it.” Because Skylar hadn’t been ready for the push, he stumbled backwards, his back hitting the door. “I don’t want to see her. I don’t want to see anyone. I just want you.”

Trapped against the door, Skylar grit his teeth at his brother’s behavior. “You already have me,” he ground out. He almost asked what more Tyler wanted from him, but he was honestly too scared of the answer. “Let me go. I have to take a shower.”

Instead of releasing him right away, Tyler allowed his fingers to linger on his brother’s chest before he finally pulled away completely. “Okay,” he answered, taking a step back. He watched as Skylar started toward the stairs. “Sky,” he called out just as his brother started ascending the first step, stopping the other man in his tracks. “When you’re done, can I touch you? I missed you all morning.”

It didn’t surprise Skylar that his brother had missed him. He gathered that from the text message asking when he’d be back. And if that hadn’t been enough, Tyler’s hands had been on him as soon as he walked through the door. So yeah, he didn’t need Tyler to say it – he knew. “Yeah, you can,” he assured the other man, giving him a tired smile before he walked up the steps to the shower.

As soon as he heard the water running, Tyler started up the stairs. He pushed the door to the bedroom open, heading straight to the bed to lay down and wait for Skylar to be finished. The ache in his chest was significantly lesser now that Skylar was home. It was bearable. But he wanted it gone. He hated feeling this way.

The water turned off a minute before Skylar finally emerged from the bathroom in a cloud of steam. “Jesus Christ,” Skylar hissed, jumping slightly when he saw Tyler on the bed. “I didn’t expect you to be in here.” He gripped the knot in his towel, almost as if he were trying to hide himself. “Are you gonna watch me get dressed, or can I have some privacy?”

Tyler didn’t answer. Instead, he just stared at Skylar. “Why do you have to get dressed?” he finally asked, head tilting to the side. “We’re not going anywhere. You said I could touch you. I was waiting here for you to get out. I want to touch you.”

A deep frown came to Skylar’s lips when Tyler spoke. “Yeah, I know I did,” he assured the other man. “And you can. But I need to get dressed first.” He waited another minute for Tyler to leave, but when his brother made no move to do so, Skylar sighed. “Okay, then,” he muttered, mainly to himself as he grabbed a pair of boxers and his black athletic shorts. He then headed back into the bathroom and closed the door.

Once he was dressed, Skylar walked out of the bathroom and toward the dresser again. He fished around for a shirt, settling on a white tank top. However, just as he was about to pull it over his head, Tyler spoke. 

“Don’t,” Tyler breathed. “I want to touch you. Not cotton – you.” For a minute, Tyler and Skylar just stared at each other, neither breaking the eye contact. After what seemed like a lifetime, Skylar finally tossed the shirt onto the dresser and walked toward the bed. Tyler scooted over, giving his brother plenty of room to lay down.

As soon as Skylar was on the bed, Tyler closed the gap between the two of them. His head rested on Skylar’s chest, his ear pressed against his heart. His body visibly relaxed as the ache in his chest finally vanished. Skylar was back. He was here. He wasn’t going anywhere. 

When Tyler pressed his ear to his heart, Skylar’s body tensed on its own accord. He laid there stock still, completely frozen. He had no idea what Tyler wanted from him. All he knew was that Tyler needed reassurance – needed physical touch – and Skylar was going to allow him to have it. Within reason, anyway.

After a few minutes of just listening to his heart beat, Tyler pressed his hand against Skylar’s chest again. Slowly, he pushed himself up so that he could look at his brother’s face. Skylar’s eyes were closed, but he could tell from his breathing that he wasn’t sleeping. He was just lying there, letting Tyler have the comfort he needed. 

Slowly, Tyler leaned in, allowing the tip of his nose to press against Skylar’s pectoral muscle, slowly sliding upward toward his collarbone. “You smell good,” he whispered softly, breathing in his brother’s soap.

In an attempt to make this less awkward for himself, Skylar snorted out a laugh. “Yeah, I better,” he muttered. “I did just get out of the shower.” He swallowed thickly when Tyler’s lips brushed against his collar bone, trying not to get upset over something that Tyler had no control over. “H-Hey, just…relax, okay?”

“M’not doing anything,” Tyler promised, dragging the tip of his nose back down toward Skylar’s chest again. “I’m just…being close.” Again, his lips pressed against Skylar’s skin, harder this time. “You taste good, too.”

Skylar’s breath caught. The words hit differently than the bite had. The bite had been instinct – desperation – Tyler hadn’t even seemed aware of what he was doing afterward. But this – this was deliberate. Tyler was paying attention. And for the first time since the kiss on their couch, Skylar wondered if they were talking about the same closeness anymore.

But that was crazy. Tyler didn’t…want him. It was this damn ritual. It was something they had to get through. When Tyler’s hand skimmed along his side, Skylar’s body trembled. Quickly, he snatched his brother’s wrist, swallowing thickly. “Ty…” Skylar whispered, giving his head a small shake. “You have to stop.”

Immediately, Tyler looked up, confused. “Why?” he asked. Finally, he was getting what he needed, and Skylar wanted him to stop? How the hell was he supposed to just stop?! Why did Skylar want him to do when this felt so good?!

Searching his brother’s face, Skylar finally landed on those glowing eyes. They were a constant reminder that his brother wasn’t really the same person he had been before the accident. He had no idea how he was supposed to explain this when Tyler didn’t even seem to realize it himself. “Because…” he started, giving his head another small shake. “This isn’t how brothers should touch each other.”

“Why not?” Tyler asked, his brow furrowed in confusion. Deep down, he understood that he shouldn’t have these feelings for his brother. But the more he thought about it, the more he questioned it. Being with Skylar in any capacity made the ache in his chest go away. And if he could fulfill every gap in Skylar’s life, Skylar would never have to leave him. It was a win-win.

His frown deepened at Tyler’s confusion. Surely, he didn’t think this was okay. Surely, he didn’t think this was innocent. Then again, with his new warped way of thinking, maybe he thought this was absolutely fine. Skylar had no idea. “Because people are going to get the wrong idea,” he explained, not necessarily wanting to get into this. He didn’t want to open that can of worms right now.

Shaking his head, Tyler argued, “What people?” His eyes searched Skylar’s face, his expression pleading. “No one else knows.” Gently, he shook Skylar’s hand off his wrist, laying his palm flat on the pillow beside Skylar’s head. “I…don’t know why I need you like this,” he admitted. “But it hurts when I can’t have you.” With his other hand, Tyler grabbed Skylar’s wrist, pressing it against his chest. “Right here. It hurts.” 

He released Skylar’s hand, feeling a small sense of accomplishment when Skylar didn’t immediately move. His eyes ticked downward, peeking at his brother’s abs. “I don’t want anyone else to have you.”

With almost inhuman speed, Tyler bent forward, crushing his lips against Skylar’s. When Skylar gasped, Tyler took the opportunity to thrust his tongue into his mouth, moaning softly as he tried to coax Skylar’s tongue into responding.

Before his brain could catch up, Tyler’s lips were on him. Skylar was frozen for a second too long. However, when he felt Tyler’s hand dip below the waistband of his athletic shorts and circle around his cock, Skylar snapped out of it. Without thinking, he locked his leg around Tyler’s and rolled them over. The kiss broke, giving Skylar room to breathe. 

It seemed like Tyler had suddenly become an octopus, his hands reaching for Skylar even as he batted them away. “Jesus fucking Christ, stop,” he pleaded, pushing himself off the bed. His hand covered his mouth as he backed away from the bed, his index finger burning as he bit into the second knuckle. “Don’t!” he ordered when Tyler got off the bed and started walking toward him. “Stay right there. I…I need to just…fucking breathe.”

He jumped when his back hit the wall, trapping him again. For weeks, he’d been telling himself there was an explanation. That Tyler just didn’t understand. That the ritual had twisted instincts, not intention. But then Tyler’s hand slid beneath his waistband. And every excuse Skylar had made came crashing down.

His pulse thundered in his ears. This wasn’t the ritual reaching for comfort anymore. Or maybe it was. Maybe this was what comfort looked like now. He honestly didn’t know which answer terrified him more. He wasn’t sure of anything anymore.

What he did know was that he needed space. He needed to talk to someone. Someone who understood exactly what the ritual had done to his brother. And dammit, he needed answers. “Stay here,” he bit out, his eyes meeting Tyler’s. “I need to leave for a bit. Don’t freak out. Please…I’m not leaving. I just need to go do something.”

Without giving Tyler a chance to answer, Skylar headed out of the room and down the steps. He grabbed a hoodie on his way out the door, not even caring that it belonged to Tyler. Once he was outside, he felt like all of the air that had been stolen from his lungs was finally able to return – he could breathe again. So, he pumped his legs as fast as he possibly could on his way to the cemetery.

By the time he finally reached the familiar headstone, his breaths were panting out of him and he was dripping with sweat. His eyes scanned the treeline, looking for the mysterious woman who seemed to have all of the answers. But he didn’t see her.

Suddenly, a voice spoke behind him, causing him to spin around so fast he nearly fell onto his ass. “Hello, Skylar Briggs,” Venus greeted, smiling at him when he nearly fell. “What’s the matter? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“I need answers,” Skylar explained, jumping straight to the point. He didn’t have it in him to go ten rounds intellectually with Venus today. “Something happened with Tyler. Something bad. I need to know why. I need to…understand this. It’s the only way we can survive it.”

Although he was waiting for the insults and the half answers, Venus merely smiled at him. As if she knew things were going to escalate and she had just been waiting for it. “What did he do now to upset you, Skylar Briggs?” Her eyes searched the skin visible to her, seeing nothing new. “I only see the one bruise still, so he obviously didn’t bite you again.”

Shaking his head, Skylar felt like he was going to pass out. “No,” he breathed, his voice barely above a whisper. Honestly, at this point, he would have preferred another bite. Because at least that was something he’d dealt with before. This – he had no idea how to deal with this. “He…grabbed me.”

“Grabbed you?” Venus asked, giving her head a small shake as her brows knit in confusion. “I don’t understand why you’re so upset about that. From what you’ve told me, he’s gotten rough in an attempt to keep you there before. Did he leave marks this time? Why do you look like you’ve seen the Goddess Hecate herself?” 

Skylar’s mouth opened, then closed. He had no idea how to tell her what just happened. “He-He…kissed me,” he explained. The words hung between them, Venus not making a move to push further. “And then…” His face burned with humiliation. In no world should he be having to explain this to someone. “He put his hand…” He couldn’t even say it. Angrily, he squeezed his eyes shut and just blurted it out. “He grabbed my dick.”

He was expecting some cryptic remark. Maybe he even expected Venus to make fun of him. What he didn’t expect was her to just stand there and stare at him. She just stood there, still, not moving, barely even breathing. Until she finally just said, “I see.”

Anger boiled over inside of him. “No, you don’t!” Skylar snapped. “Explain it to me! And not in your bullshit cryptic way like you always do! Give me answers, dammit.” Shaking his head, Skylar fought back the burning behind his eyes. “He knows he’s my brother! He knows this is wrong. So why did he do it?!”

Although Venus didn’t appreciate being yelled at, she was going to let it slide this time. Skylar was obviously very shaken up about the events that had just occurred. “You’re still trying to separate love into boxes, Skylar Briggs,” Venus explained after a minute. “Family. Brother. Friend. Lover.” Shaking her head, she continued, “Tyler can’t do that anymore.”

Swallowing thickly, Skylar shook his head. No, Tyler knew that he was his brother. He knew that this was wrong. He had to. “What do you mean?” he asked, needing clarification. “He knows who I am. Did…the ritual make him just not care? Is that it?”

“No, it’s not that he doesn’t care,” Venus hissed. “Of course he cares. You think he wants to feel this way? He can’t help it!” Shaking her head, Venus locked eyes with Skylar. “All he knows is pain now. And he knows that you make the pain stop. So why wouldn’t he reach for you? Every time he gets closer, the pain eases. Every time you pull away, it comes back. He isn’t chasing desire, Skylar Briggs. He’s chasing relief.”

Pain? Tyler didn’t really talk about his pain all that much. Except today, it had been a topic of discussion. Tyler had explained it the same way Venus was, essentially. “He’s in pain?” Skylar asked, not missing the way Venus’ glowing green eyes seemed to flash brighter. “I mean, I know he said that when I’m not there, his chest aches. But…I didn’t know how bad it was.” Brows knitting in confusion, Skylar asked, “Did…the ritual do that to him?”

Venus once again stared at Skylar for a long moment. It was almost as if she was trying to decide what he was allowed to know. Finally, she sighed, slowly walking around Skylar so that she could stare at Tyler’s headstone. “When someone dies, every system that tells them who they are…stops,” Venus explained. “Memory survives. Personality survives. But the things that keep those pieces organized don’t always come back the way they were.”

Slowly, Venus turned to look at Skylar again. “You were the one who called him back,” she reminded. “I warned you that blood magic was powerful and it’s…unpredicatable. Your blood bound him here. And whether or not either of you meant for it to happen…his mind rebuilt itself around you.”

He didn’t understand. He’d done the ritual right. He knew the risks, and he had been careful. How could this have happened? “I—What does that mean?” he asked, shaking his head. While Venus wasn’t necessarily talking in riddles this time, Skylar was having a hard time wrapping his head around this.

“You’re his reference point,” Venus explained. “His safety. His…regulation. When you’re close, his mind settles.” Her eyes drifted, staring at something off in the distance that Skylar couldn’t see. “But when you’re gone, it begins to unravel. Imagine the worst separation anxiety you’ve ever seen. Now…take away the ability to see through it.”

She could see the wheels turning in Skylar’s mind. This was a lot to take in, so she was trying to go slow. “He knows you’ll come back,” she assured him, her eyes moving to meet his once more. “Intellectually, he understands that. But the part of him that governs attachment doesn’t believe it.” She pressed her hand to her chest, mimicking Tyler’s actions from earlier that day. “His body reacts to your absence as though it’s a threat to his survival.”

Skylar was almost too terrified to ask the next question. But he needed answers – that’s why he’d come out here in the first place. “Can we fix it?” he asked, his jaw twitching with how hard he was grinding his teeth.

Again, Venus turned toward Tyler’s grave. “Maybe,” she answered, though she didn’t even sound too sure herself. “Anchors can become healthier.” She heard the younger man breathe a sigh of relief behind her, bringing a small smirk to her lips. “Or they can become absolute.”

Of course there were two options. Historically, when he was presented with options, Skylar hadn’t been picking the right choice. “What’s the difference?” he asked, needing to know everything so that he could make the right decision.

Turning once more, Venus locked eyes with Skylar again. “A healthy anchor lets someone feel safe enough to stand on their own,” she answered. There was a pause before she finished, “But an absolute anchor makes them believe they cannot exist without you.”

His stomach dropped. “That-That’s already happening,” Skylar breathed. Tyler had told him just recently that when he left, it felt like he stopped existing. “How can I make him feel safe enough to stand on his own?” Skylar asked. Honestly, he thought he had been doing that. But apparently, he was wrong. 

Venus’ head tilted to the side as she stared through Skylar. “You’re asking the wrong question,” she accused, brows knit in confusion. “You keep asking me why Tyler keeps reaching for you, and I keep giving you the same answer. I’m sorry if it doesn’t fit into your pretty little head. I can’t change it.”

Another frown came to Skylar’s lips at the insult. Though, he couldn’t really say anything to counter. He seemed to always have the same question – What’s wrong with Tyler and how can I fix it? But Venus was right. She couldn’t give him another answer if it didn’t exist. “Then what’s the right one?” he asked.

“How do you teach someone to live when every instinct tells them they’ll die the moment you walk away?” Venus explained. She didn’t wait for Skylar to repeat the question. “You don’t prove to him that you’ll never leave, Skylar Briggs. That’s the mistake you’ve been making.”

Again, Skylar’s frown deepened. He didn’t understand. Tyler needed to know he would never leave him. Otherwise, Tyler had a panic attack, and Skylar had to do damage control. “What?” he asked, shaking his head.

Moving closer, Venus continued, “Every time he hurts and you erase the pain, you teach him the pain was dangerous. You teach him he was right to panic.” 

Skylar couldn’t help but scoff at her words. “So, what?” he asked, shrugging. “What am I supposed to do, then? I’m supposed to do nothing? Just let him hurt?” There was no way in hell he was going to let that happen.

She could see that Skylar was getting defensive. “No,” she answered with a shake of her head. “You’re supposed to let him learn that pain doesn’t mean dying.” A small smile came to her lips as she continued, “You keep treating the pain like a wound you caused. But some pain is a muscle. It has to be used before it gets stronger.”

Again, Skylar frowned. “I did cause this,” he argued. He couldn’t help the bout of laughter that escaped him. “You keep telling me that this is my fault! And you’re right! I brought him back. I’m the reason he’s like this! Those are your words!”

While it was true that she’d said that, she didn’t want to see the two of them end up like she did. With one of them in the ground. “Tyler thinks that holding tighter will keep you from leaving,” she explained. “But eventually, Skylar Briggs, people don’t escape because they stop loving you.” A single tear slipped down her cheek. “Sometimes they leave because they’ve been holding their breath for so long, they forget what breathing feels like.” Quickly, she reached up and wiped the tear away. “You have to teach him that he can survive without you.”

He wasn’t sure he could do that. While Tyler’s whole world seemed to revolve around him, he wasn’t much different. Sure, the ritual hadn’t changed his biology, or his wiring, or whatever, but he couldn’t just sit back while his brother was hurting. “How?” he asked, feeling even more helpless than he had when he ran out here.

Slowly, Venus turned to look at Tyler’s grave again. “By surviving it yourself,” she answered. “Do you remember who you were before the ritual, Skylar Briggs?” His hesitation was the only answer she needed. “Because I’m not sure you do. You keep asking me how to fix him, but you never ask yourself the other question.”

When Skylar asked what the other question was, Venus turned to look at him again. Her glowing eyes met Skylar’s again. It was hard to miss the sadness in their depths. “How much of yourself are you willing to lose trying?”

The words hit harder than Skylar expected, and Venus knew it immediately. “You are Tyler’s anchor,” she repeated. “That means you have power over him. But it also means you carry the weight of him.” Smiling sadly, Venus continued, “You can spend every moment of every day trying to keep him steady. You can rearrange your life around his pain. You can make sure he never feels afraid or alone again.”

She paused, waiting for her words to sink in. Because that’s exactly what Skylar had been doing up to this point. And she’d been watching him. “But eventually, you have to decide what happens when keeping him safe means destroying yourself.”

Once again, the words hit too close to home. Skylar had been doing just that. He’d been managing Tyler to make sure he was okay. And every day, he was losing pieces of himself. “So what? I’m supposed to just leave him?” he asked, unable to hide the anger that crept into his voice.

Venus shook her head. “No,” she answered. “I’m telling you that you have to stop pretending there is a choice where everyone walks away unharmed.” Because most of the time, that wasn’t the case. Her voice softened. “You brought him back because you love him. But love does not make you limitless, Skylar Briggs.”

Everyone had limits. But it seemed like every time Tyler needed something, Skylar’s limits were pushed. Venus was right – at what point was enough finally enough? Skylar had no idea. Because choosing himself meant that he wasn’t choosing Tyler. And he wasn’t sure he could do that. Not when this was his fault. “What am I supposed to do?” he asked, his voice barely a whisper.

Without thinking, Venus reached for Skylar, cupping his cheek in her palm. Much to her surprise, Skylar relaxed into her touch. He was emotionally exhausted – she knew the look well. “Decide where your limit is,” she instructed. “And decide what happens after if you push past it.” With that, Venus walked backward toward the tree line, disappearing into the darkness.

Skylar watched as Venus disappeared into the trees, leaving him alone with the only answer he had been avoiding. He had spent weeks wondering how far he would go to save Tyler. But he had never stopped to wonder what would happen when there was nothing left of him to save.