Skylar pulled his phone out of his pocket and checked the caller ID, inwardly groaning when he saw that it was Jessie. She had been calling him for a few days now and he had been avoiding her calls. Instead, he would text her late at night when he could get away from Tyler and apologize that he’d missed her. But he knew he was being rude and she didn’t deserve that.
“Hey baby,” he answered, jumping up to close the door to the bedroom where he was currently hiding from his brother. Tyler had thankfully given him some space for a little while after Skylar had all but demanded it. He’d been right on top of him for the last few days, and Skylar had felt like he couldn’t breathe. Tyler wasn’t happy about it, but at least he’d listened.
He could hear the frustration in her voice as soon as she spoke. “Hey baby?” she asked. “Really, that’s all you have to say to me? I’ve been calling you for days and you haven’t been answering. I’ve been worried sick!”
Frowning, Skylar plopped onto the bed. “I know you have,” he tried to placate her. “And I texted you to let you know that I’m fine. I’ve just been really busy with my parents. They got back a couple weeks ago, and they’re not adjusting well. Being here after everything is hard for them, I think.”
The lie seemed to work. For now. “Oh, I’m sorry,” Jessie apologized. “I didn’t even realize that they’d gotten back.” There was a pause on the other line. “Maybe I should call Jennifer and check in. I want to make sure she’s okay. And I know how David gets when Jennifer isn’t doing well. I could probably at least get her out of the house for a little while and give him a minute to breathe.”
And immediately, that lie came back to bite him in the ass. “No,” he yelped, almost too desperately. “I mean…you don’t have to. They’ll be fine. They just need some time to process that going away didn’t magically bring Tyler back.” And wasn’t that the funniest thing he’d said all damn month? “I think they just want some space to…grieve.”
Suddenly, the door opened. Skylar didn’t turn right away. He already knew who it was. Tyler – he could feel it before he even saw him. That quiet shift in the room, like the air noticed his presence and stilled. “Jessie, I have to go,” Skylar ended the call too quickly, already pulling the phone from his ear. “I’ll talk to you later.”
She said something, sharp and confused, but Skylar didn’t let himself hear it. He’d thumbed the screen before she could finish. Silence snapped into place. Too loud. Skylar lowered the phone, tossing it onto the bed beside him before exhaling through his nose and looking up at his brother finally.
Tyler was standing in the doorway, not moving. Hell, Skylar wasn’t even sure if he was breathing. But he was watching. His head was tilted to the side, eyes locked on Skylar as if he was the only thing in the room worth focusing on. And he hated that stare. Not because it was loud, or aggressive. But because it was certain.
“I am going to have to leave this cabin eventually,” Skylar started, his words coming too fast. Almost as if saying it quickly would make it less real. Less likely to cause a problem. “Jessie is getting suspicious because I haven’t been answering her calls. I haven’t been to practice once since off-season started. Henry and Adam keep texting me and asking where I am. And Mom–Mom texted me too.”
Throughout his rant, Tyler hadn’t moved. He hadn’t even blinked. He just kept staring at him. Sighing, Skylar scrubbed a hand down his face. “I can’t just disappear from everything,” he explained, his voice quieter. “People are noticing.”
Again, he was met with silence. Instead, Tyler stepped fully into the room. The click of the door closing was loud in the otherwise quiet room. Skylar felt something tighten in his chest. He wasn’t sure if it was fear or guilt, or something else entirely. And that didn’t sit well with him.
And he couldn’t read Tyler as well as he had been able to in the past, which also worried him. “I’m not saying I’m leaving,” he rushed to clarify. “I’m just–” He didn’t even know what he was doing. “Ty, I’m trying to explain that I have other things to manage. I can’t keep balancing everything like this.”
Still nothing. Tyler’s gaze shifted lower, down to Skylar’s exposed chest and abdomen. But the look behind his eyes was unreadable. Almost like he was trying to read Skylar in pieces rather than see him as a whole person. It was very unnerving.
“Say something,” Skylar breathed, his voice nearly begging. The silence stretched for a few more seconds before Tyler’s gaze finally shifted back to Skylar’s face. Again, his expression was unreadable, so Skylar braced himself for the worst.
Tyler blinked slowly, almost as if he were allowing himself to process everything Skylar had explained to him just now. “I understand,” he finally answered, not allowing any sort of emotion to slip onto his face or through his tone. When his brother said his name, Tyler repeated, “I understand.”
He stepped further into the room. It took everything in him not to move quickly and pin his brother to that bed. Instead, he kept his movements calm and controlled. He stopped just a few feet away from Skylar, his thighs almost touching the edge of the bed. “You’re busy,” he stated matter of factly. “You have responsibilities.”
Skylar hadn’t been expecting that. He wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting. Maybe another meltdown? Screaming? Begging Skylar not to leave him? But actually agreeing that he needed to leave wasn’t something he’d been planning for. It honestly made him a bit uneasy. “Yeah, I do,” he agreed with a slight nod.
Again, Tyler nodded. Another smile came to his lips. The movement was calm and controlled. Nothing like what Skylar had originally expected. “Okay,” Tyler answered, once again not reacting the way his brother would have expected.
The way his stomach tightened had Skylar feeling even more on edge. “Okay?” he asked, unable to believe this was the end of the conversation. After everything that had happened over the last few weeks and the way Tyler would immediately lose his mind at the thought of Skylar leaving, there was no way he was this calm about this!
One more time, Tyler’s gaze flicked over his brother. “You should go handle them, then,” he suggested simply. Before Skylar could even register what he’d said, Tyler was in his space again. He didn’t touch him, but he did close the rest of the gap that had been between them. “But you’ll come back.” It wasn’t a question.
Swallowing thickly, Skylar nodded. He was having trouble getting his mind to catch up with the fact that Tyler was just letting him go without a fight. He was just waiting for the other shoe to drop. “Of course I–” he started, only to have Tyler cut him off.
“I know,” Tyler assured him, his voice leaving no room for argument. He managed to keep the smile on his lips, but on the inside, he was nearly falling apart. Skylar was leaving again – but he was coming back. He always came back. It didn’t matter where he went. All that mattered was where he ended up. And that was here. In this bed. “It’s fine.”
From the way Tyler’s voice shook, it wasn’t necessarily fine. It was subtle, but Skylar knew him well enough to pick up on it. And honestly, that was even more terrifying than if Tyler had gotten mad.
**~~**
Three hours, forty two minutes, and eleven seconds. Tyler knew the exact number because he had counted every single one of them. The second the key rattled in the lock, he was on his feet. He’d been sitting on the floor beside the door for the last hour, just waiting. He reached the entryway just as Skylar stepped inside.
Immediately, he was in Skylar’s space, needing the closeness. “You’re back,” he stated the obvious, unable to keep the relief out of his voice. “Did you get everything done? Can we spend time together now?”
Skylar jumped slightly when his brother invaded his space before he could even close the door. “Yeah, I did,” he answered. “For the most part. I mean, we didn’t practice, but we at least came up with a plan. And Jessie isn’t as mad as she was, but she’s not exactly happy either. I called Mom and we talked – she thinks I’m staying at the dorms over summer break to be close to my friends. But we’re going to have to tell her something else eventually. I just haven’t figured it out yet.”
As Skylar spoke, Tyler tried to listen. Really, he did. He caught words here and there – Jessie…Mom…staying at the dorms – but they dissolved almost as quickly as they reached him. Instead, his attention kept drifting back to Skylar’s mouth. He could still remember how soft those lips were beneath his own. He wanted to taste him again, but they were nowhere near that yet.
His brother had only just recently started letting him touch him again. Tyler couldn’t risk frightening him with that a second time. If Skylar pulled away now, he didn’t know how he’d survive it. “Okay,” he mumbled, hoping it was the right answer when Skylar finally stopped talking. “Do you want to get a quick workout in before dinner?”
At the mention of a workout, Skylar hesitated. The last one hadn’t ended the way he’d expected, and the memory surfaced unbidden. His shoulders tensed instinctively before he could shake it off. “I don’t know,” he answered with a shake of his head. “My body’s kinda sore. Maybe we skip it?”
“Okay,” Tyler answered, biting into his bottom lip. He didn’t know what else to do. Sitting around watching television all of the time wasn’t really their lifestyle. But it wasn’t like they could go out and enjoy any of their usual activities either. Tyler was supposed to be dead, after all. “I could…give you another massage if you’re sore.” He shifted his weight, his fingers fidgeting against his thigh. “It helped last time. I-I don’t mind.”
The thought of a massage was even more unsettling than the workout. “No,” he answered before he could stop himself. Tyler’s face fell immediately – it hit Skylar like a punch. “I mean…I appreciate it, Ty. But I don’t think it’s really necessary. I just need to relax. And hydrate.”
Slowly, Tyler nodded, trying to keep his disappointment off his face. “We could go sit outside,” he suggested. “I made coffee earlier. It might be cold now. But we could sit out on the deck and just vegetate.” Frowning, Tyler added, “But if you’re dehydrated, you really shouldn’t drink coffee. Stupid. I’ll get you some water.”
Before his brother could head into the kitchen, Skylar grabbed his arm, stopping him in his tracks. He didn’t miss the way Tyler’s eyes shot to his hand. “Ty, relax,” he pleaded. “Go sit outside. I’ll get my own water and I’ll be out there in a second.”
Shaking his head, Tyler argued, “I can grab it. I know where the water bottles are. I’m the one who put them away. You go relax.” Again, Skylar tried to argue, but Tyler cut him off. “Sky, I can do this. Just go outside. I’ll meet you out there.”
Although it was very clear that Skylar didn’t want Tyler waiting on him, he dropped the argument. Skylar had learned to pick his battles over the last few days, and this one just wasn’t worth it. “Fine,” he muttered before he moved past Tyler and headed out the door leading to the large deck.
He was only alone for a few moments, Tyler pushing the water bottle against his shoulder with a smile once he’d collected it. “Here,” Tyler smiled widely. “Hydrate. Doctor’s orders.”
Rolling his eyes, Skylar took the bottle of water and popped the cap off. He tipped the bottle to his lips, taking a large swig before he twisted the cap back on and put the bottle on the ground beside him. “Thanks,” he muttered, scooching around in the chair for a few moments before he was finally comfortable.
It was a nice summer day. The breeze allowed for a nice gust of cool against the hot summer sun. Slowly, Skylar allowed his eyes to close, just soaking up the sun. He laced his fingers behind his head, letting out a slow, calming breath. “It’s really pretty out here,” he muttered mostly to himself, though he knew he was speaking loud enough for Tyler to hear.
Instead of focusing on the beautiful scenery around him, Tyler only had eyes for Skylar. His head rested sideways on the chair, eyes staring straight ahead at his brother. “Yeah, it is,” he agreed, eyes roaming over his brother’s perfect form. Everything about Skylar was perfect – he didn’t even have to try.
But there was something bothering him. Looking at his brother wasn’t enough. And while the chairs were pretty close already, they weren’t close enough. “Sky?” Tyler breathed after a few moments. He’d tried to relax – he really had. But his body was craving closeness, and Skylar was just too far away after not being here for nearly four hours. “Can you…move closer?”
Slowly, Skylar’s eyes blinked open, their gazes locked. He could see that Skylar was about to protest – they were close enough already, right? Wrong. Maybe if Skylar hadn’t already been gone for so long this morning, Tyler could have controlled it. But right now, he needed him. “Please?” he begged before Skylar could say anything. “I…need you.”
In his opinion, they were close enough. Their chairs were practically touching already. Honestly, Skylar wasn’t even sure he could move the chairs any closer even if he tried. “Ty, the chairs are really close together as it is,” he tried to explain. “I don’t even know if they’ll get closer.”
Again, Tyler bit into his bottom lip. He could see the chairs were close – he had eyes. But it still wasn’t enough. “Well…can I come over there and sit next to you?” He wasn’t above sitting on the ground at his brother’s feet if it meant he got to be closer. “I can sit on the floor. I don’t care.”
It didn’t take much to realize that this had nothing to do with their chairs being too far apart. Skylar hesitated for a moment, licking his suddenly too dry lips as he tried to come up with an answer that would satisfy Tyler. Because he wasn’t about to have his brother sitting at his feet like a damn dog. “Look, why don’t we just do something else, okay?” he suggested finally. “Like…we could go for a walk, or something.”
A small frown came to Tyler’s lips when his brother suggested they go for a walk. “I thought your body was sore and you wanted to relax,” he muttered softly. “I don’t want you to overwork yourself and get hurt because of me.”
Shaking his head, Skylar moved to push himself from his chair. “I’m fine, Ty,” he assured his brother. “It’s just walking. We have this entire forest to ourselves. Let’s go explore.” He tossed the water bottle he’d been drinking into the pocket of his basketball shorts and headed to the edge of the deck. When he turned around, Tyler was already so close behind him that they nearly brushed noses. “Jesus, okay,” he breathed before he turned back toward the steps. “Aren’t you going to get hot in that hoodie?”
Unable to help himself, Tyler snorted out a laugh. “My core body temperature is 95 degrees,” he reminded the other man, trying to make light of this situation. “I highly doubt a little sunlight and a hoodie is going to change that.”
The joke landed on deaf ears as Skylar jogged down the steps. This wasn’t funny – nothing about this was a joking matter. So the fact that Tyler thought it was okay to make comments like that only proved that he wasn’t actually dealing with this well. “Let me know if you get too hot,” he ordered softly. “We can turn around and come back, or take extra breaks if you need to.”
**~~**
Skylar tipped his head back, eyes tightly closed as he allowed the water to wash over his aching body. By the time they’d gotten back to the cabin, the sun was down, and it had shaped up to be about a seven and a half mile hike. He hadn’t been expecting to go trailblazing today, but he also didn’t know what else to do.
His brother was getting worse, not better. The whole time they’d been walking, Tyler hadn’t given him any space at all. He’d even made sure their bodies were brushing against each other basically the whole time. It was suffocating.
The only time he was ever truly alone anymore was when he was taking a shower. Tyler didn’t follow him into the bathroom, thankfully. Honestly, he was a little surprised that Tyler hadn’t tried. Slowly, he turned his body, pressing his head against the cool tiles as he allowed the hot water to cascade over his shoulders and down his back. It felt good. But not good enough to forget how hard it was to breathe these days when Tyler wouldn’t give him any space.
He needed to get out of here for a while. He needed to talk to Venus. Maybe it would help. Sure, most of the time when she spoke to him, Skylar ended up feeling even more lost, but he wasn’t sure he could get any deeper into his maze before finding his way out. He felt like Tom Hanks in Cast Away – completely stranded with no idea how to get home. There really wasn’t much more room for getting lost.
Reaching for his loofah, Skylar dumped a liberal amount of soap onto it before starting to scrub at his skin. He needed a plan. Needed a cover to get the hell out of here for five minutes without Tyler. But one that didn’t make the other man lose his grip. Because he wasn’t stable enough at the moment to pull Tyler off the ledge. If something happened, Tyler would end up pulling them both down.
Because he was so engrossed in his own thoughts, Skylar didn’t notice the two bright, glowing blue orbs from across the room just peeking from behind the slightly cracked door.