Skylar let out a surprised gasp when Tyler’s lips crushed against his. He couldn’t believe what was happening. His mind was having a hard time catching up. However, when Tyler’s tongue darted between his lips and started to massage Skylar’s own tongue, he quickly regained access to his body.
His hands pressed against Tyler’s shoulders, shoving the other man away from him. He then scrambled backward, nearly tripping over the back of the couch in his attempt to put some distance between himself and his brother. His brother – why the hell would Tyler kiss him?!
He couldn’t think. He couldn’t comprehend. He just knew that he needed to get out of there. If he stayed, something was going to break. He would say something he didn’t mean, or do something that he regretted. In his twenty-two years on this Earth, he had always been the hot-headed brother.
So no, he needed to leave. He needed to get out of here and give himself some time to breathe. He needed a minute to think. “I-I–” he started, shaking his head as he backed away from Tyler. “I’m sorry, I can’t be here.” With that, Skylar ran out the door.
Tyler stared after his brother, completely shocked. The door slammed and Skylar was gone. Confusion settled heavily in his chest, threatening to consume him. Skylar was gone. He’d kissed him – he’d shown Skylar that he wasn’t afraid – and his brother had just left him.
Pain ripped through Tyler’s chest. The dull ache he normally felt whenever Skylar was away intensified into something almost unbearable. His finger clawed at the fabric of his hoodie over his heart, desperately trying to make it stop.
How could this happen?! Skylar was scared – it was never Tyler who was going to be scared. It had always been Skylar. His brother just needed more time. He’d moved too fast and spooked him. But he could still fix this. He needed to fix this.
Quickly, Tyler whipped out his phone, pulling up the text thread between him and Skylar. His fingers moved on their own accord, begging his brother to come back to him. He didn’t care if they went back to ignoring this fire between the two of them – he’d do it. Whatever it took, Tyler would do it if it meant Skylar would come back to him.
**~~**
Skylar stared at the name on the headstone in front of him – Tyler Briggs. His brother. His twin. The man who had been with him since conception. The man who he would have gladly given his own life for.
Bile rose in the back of his throat as he remembered the kiss. That wasn’t normal. Over the last few weeks, there had been signs that something was different. Little moments that made his stomach twist if he thought about them for too long. The staring. The possessiveness. The way Tyler seemed to hate every second Skylar would spend with someone else. But Skylar had tried to ignore them – he’d tried to explain them away. But this? How could he explain this away?! Did Tyler truly come back wrong? And even if he did, what the hell was Skylar going to do about it?!
He felt lost. Helpless. Sighing, he grabbed a stick from the ground, tracing lines in the dirt. There was no easy answer to this. How was he going to even face Tyler again after this? And how were they going to get past this?!
Anger swelled up inside him, threatening to swallow him whole. Hot tears burned at his eyes, but he refused to let them fall. This was all Venus’ fault. She had given him this ritual – this hope – and now everything was ruined. “Fuck you,” he muttered under his breath. “You hear me?! Fuck you, Venus!” The stick flew out of his hands and splintered against Tyler’s headstone, littering the ground with broken pieces.
“Oh dear,” a voice came from the shadows. Skylar froze. Slowly, Venus emerged from the woods, the moonlight catching the bright green glow of her eyes. “You can’t blame me for the consequences of your own actions, Skylar. I warned you there might be…consequences.” Her eyes trailed over Skylar’s body, taking him all in as her head tilted to the side. “What seems to be the problem?”
Seeing Venus did nothing to quell the anger Skylar was feeling inside. If anything, the sight of her only made it worse. Skylar shot to his feet, fists clenched at his sides. “You know exactly what you did!” he spat. “Don’t stand there and act confused.”
When Venus merely blinked at him, Skylar wanted to throttle her. “I know about the cabin,” Skylar continued. “I know you’ve been meeting with Tyler behind my back. I know you’ve been feeding him ideas and convincing him to keep secrets from me.” He shook his head, a humorless laugh escaping him. “So cut the bullshit. Don’t play dumb with me. What the fuck have you been saying to him when he comes out here every night?!”
For the first time, Venus’ smile faltered slightly. “Wow,” she mumbled. “That’s…quite an accusation.” Her bright green eyes locked on Skylar, looking eerily supernatural under the glow of the full moon. “I have never lied to you…or your brother. I warned you from the start that sometimes, actions have consequences. But you didn’t care to listen. All you cared about was yourself.”
Shaking his head, Skylar argued, “I only ever cared about Tyler!” And it was the truth. His brother had been stripped of the life he deserved. Skylar brought him back so that he could live it – so he wouldn’t miss out on everything life had to offer. “He was twenty two years old!” he snapped. “He didn’t get a future! He didn’t get college! He didn’t get a career! He didn’t get any of it! I brought him back because he deserved all of that! I did this all for Tyler!”
Barely suppressing a laugh, Venus argued, “You did this for yourself. And you know it.” Slowly, she took a step toward Skylar. “You couldn’t stand the fact that you were grieving. It was eating you alive from the inside out. So, you did whatever you could to make it stop. You didn’t think for one second about how Tyler might feel if you brought him back and there had been complications. You were selfish.”
She could hear Skylar’s barely breathed no under his breath, but she could also see the wheels turning in his head. “Hey, I don’t blame you,” she assured the younger man. “A lot of people would have done the same thing in your position.” Chuckling humorlessly, Venus added, “Do you know how many people have stood where you’re standing right now and convinced themselves they were doing it for someone else?”
Now, she was basically toe-to-toe with Skylar, her fingers reaching out to gently grip Skylar’s chin. “Don’t blame yourself, sweetie,” she comforted. “Humans are naturally selfish beings. And if you don’t truly understand the consequences of what you’re doing, I guess you can’t really be held accountable, can you?” She smiled softly, the action not quite reaching her eyes before she added, “No one understands the consequences until they are forced to live with them.”
Consequences. It was like Venus was speaking from personal experience. Suddenly, it dawned on Skylar that she was speaking from actual experience. Tyler had told him that she was like him! She knew exactly how Tyler was feeling. And honestly, that pissed Skylar off even more.
Again, Venus tilted her head to the side, almost as if she was studying Skylar. “Do you think I put thoughts in Tyler’s head?” she asked. She smiled softly, giving her head a small shake. “You keep acting as though I created something inside your brother. I didn’t. I simply recognized it.” Her eyes narrowed briefly before she asked, “Tyler told you I was like him, didn’t he?”
“What does that have to do with anything?” Skylar asked, gently pushing Venus’ hand away from his chin where she was using her grip to lock their gazes. Looking into her eyes was making him feel uncomfortable.
Her smile widening, Venus answered, “Everything.” Turning on her heels, Venus took a moment to glance at Tyler’s headstone. It was truly tragic that this had happened to him. She hated seeing someone so young have to deal with such tragedy. “When you’ve been pulled back from death, certain things become…clearer. Attachments become stronger. Loss becomes unbearable. The people you love become the center of your world.”
She didn’t bother turning around, just angling her head to the side so that her voice carried a bit better as she said, “Don’t blame Tyler for becoming what your miracle required him to become. Remember, Skylar, you asked for this.”
With that, Venus disappeared back into the woods, leaving Skylar alone with his own shame. He had asked for this. He’d wanted Tyler back, regardless of the consequences. And now, he was going to try to blame this on someone else? There was no one else to blame. He’d done this. Just him.
The sound of his phone ringing cut through Skylar’s downward spiral. He yanked it from his pocket, fully prepared to ignore whoever was calling. The screen lit up in his hand – Mom. Skylar squeezed his eyes shut. He couldn’t really ignore a call from his mother. “Yeah?” he muttered.
Concern laced his mother’s voice as she spoke. “Skylar? Honey, are you okay?”
Damn it. Skylar thought he’d had his emotions under wraps. But his mother could always tell when there was something bothering him. Even when he was little. He scrubbed a hand over his face before he answered, “Yeah. Sorry, Mom. It’s just late, and I’m tired. What’s up?”
“Well, sweetie, I just wanted to let you know that your father and I booked our flight home for this weekend,” Skylar’s mother explained. “The boat was fantastic, and beautiful, but we thought it was time to come home and be with family again. How have you been holding up, sweetheart? We haven’t really talked much since I left.”
This weekend?! That was in three days! How the hell was Skylar going to come up with a solution to Tyler being in the house in three days?! The cabin crossed his mind, but Skylar pushed it out stubbornly. He needed another option. “I’ve been alright,” he answered. “You know, just focusing on school and football and everything. Helps me take my mind off of things. And Jessie’s been helping me through everything too.”
Their conversation carried on for a few more minutes before his phone beeped at him, indicating that he was getting another call. He pulled the phone away from his ear, glancing at the caller ID. His heart sank when he saw Tyler’s name on the screen. “Mom, I gotta run, okay? Sorry, Jessie’s calling me. I’ll see you when you get home. Love you, bye!”
His finger pressed against the screen, answering his brother’s call. “Tyler?” He was met with silence on the other end. For a second, Skylar thought that the call had been disconnected. Then, he heard it. Breathing. Fast, uneven – almost frantic. And it made his stomach drop. “Ty?”
A small whimper came through the speaker. “Sky?” Tyler breathed. His voice was shaking. “Sky, please come back?” Another broken sound came through the speaker. “I-I need you.”
Before his brain could even catch up, Skylar was already moving. “Tyler, what happened?” he pried. He didn’t care that he was confused right now. He didn’t care that the kiss had happened. All he cared about was that Tyler seemed distressed, and he needed to fix it.
“Please…” Tyler whimpered. “Please don’t leave me? I can’t–” His breathing hitched sharply over the line. “I didn’t mean to scare you.” Another whimpered groan. “I just…I wanted to be closer. To-To show you that you…don’t have to…be afraid.”
Although he knew Tyler couldn’t see him, Skylar shook his head, picking up the pace of his steps. “I’m not afraid,” he assured his brother. “Listen, I need you to calm down, okay? Everything is going to be fine. Just breathe with me.”
This was a technique he’d learned from Tyler’s therapist when he first started having panic attacks. “In…two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight,” he counted. “And out, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Does that feel better?”
For a moment, all Skylar could hear on the phone was breathing. “Again. In…two, three, four–” He could hear Tyler trying to breathe with him. One shaky inhale, then another. Until the rhythm broke completely. Sky – he heard his brother whisper on the other line. The sound sent a knot straight to Skylar’s stomach. “Ty?”
Tyler’s voice cracked as he whimpered, “I can’t. I can’t do it.” Another ragged breath escaped him as he clawed at his chest. “Everything hurts.”
Immediately, Skylar picked up his pace even more. Damn, he really wished that he’d have brought the JEEP! “Tyler, stay on the phone with me,” he ordered. “Tell me what you see. What-What are five things that you can see right now?”
“I can’t see you,” Tyler whispered, his voice devoid of emotion, leaving nothing but pain. “Please…come back?” These words came out broken and desperate. “Please…I-I need you. I didn’t mean to scare you. I just wanted–” His breath hitched sharply again. “I just wanted you closer.”
This was bad. Skylar had never heard his brother this bad before. “Tyler, listen to me,” he pleaded as he rounded the corner onto their street. “Listen…you didn’t scare me. I’m coming back,” he promised. “I am one minute down the road. Where are you? Tell me which room you’re in.”
There was another jagged breath on the line before Skylar heard shuffling. “I-I’m in…your room,” Tyler explained. “I-I needed to be close. I just…want you closer. Sky, I can’t–Please, I need you? Please?”
As soon as Skylar burst through the door, he raced up the steps. He didn’t even bother closing the door behind him. His phone fell out of his hand when he walked into his room and he was met with the sight of Tyler. His brother was sitting in the corner of the room where he’d been the night Skylar caught him lurking while he was sleeping, curled up in the fetal position. His hand was clutched against his bare chest, his tank top ripped down the middle to the bottom of his sternum as if he’d been trying to claw his way into his own skin. There was a thick sheen of sweat on Tyler’s skin, and his eyes looked glassy and unfocused. He couldn’t help but notice when the moon hit Tyler a certain way, his eyes glowed just like Venus’ had.
Without hesitation, Skylar closed the distance between the two of them, kneeling down and gripping his brother’s shoulders tightly. “I’m here,” Skylar soothed, giving his brother a gentle shake to get him out of whatever trance he seemed to be in. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere. I’m here.”
Tyler’s hand immediately shot out to fist the fabric of Skylar’s dark blue Henley. He used his grip to pull his brother impossibly closer, practically climbing into Skylar’s lap. “Please…don’t push me away,” he breathed, tears streaming down his cheeks and staining his skin. “Please…I didn’t mean to scare you. Please don’t leave me. I need you, Sky, please?”
Immediately, Skylar’s anger vanished completely. This wasn’t embarrassment. This wasn’t Tyler being upset because he’d crossed a line. Tyler looked sick. Genuinely sick. Like something inside of him was coming apart. His skin was clammy beneath Skylar’s hands, his breathing ragged and uneven as he clung to him like a drowning man.
And Skylar hated seeing him like this.
He didn’t think before his hands moved to Tyler’s head. His fingers carded through his brother’s damp hair before gently guiding his face upward. “Look at me,” he ordered softly. Tyler’s glowing eyes finally found him. “That’s it.” Skylar swallowed hard. “I’m right here. I’m not leaving you.”
The grip on his shirt tightened at the words. “Just take a breath for me, okay?” Skylar coaxed. “Just one breath. And then another.” His thumb brushed against the skin beneath Tyler’s eye, catching a tear before it could fall. “Whatever’s happening, we’ll figure it out. I’m here for you. Everything’s gonna be okay.”
Skylar sat there for a moment, just letting Tyler take comfort in his presence. Finally, he figured it was best to just rip the band-aid off quick. “Mom called,” he muttered. He didn’t miss the way Tyler stiffened against him. “They’re coming home this weekend.”
He could feel Tyler start to push off of him. He could practically feel his brother start to spiral all over again. But he wasn’t going to allow that to happen. “Hey, hey, look at me,” he coaxed. He couldn’t help but feel a bit victorious when his brother listened. “We’re not gonna do this right now.”
“But…they’re coming home,” Tyler whispered, unable to process what that meant for them. They hadn’t had enough time to come up with a plan. They hadn’t planned for this. What were they going to do? He was spiraling again. He heard Skylar assure him that he knew, but he couldn’t quite process what that meant right now. “They’re going to take me away.”
Sadness welled up inside him when Tyler spoke. He reminded him so much of the eight year old little boy who would have nightmares and crawl into Skylar’s bed in the middle of the night. “No, they’re not,” he assured him, his voice a bit more firm than he had intended it to be. He was losing him – Tyler was getting too far gone again. “We’ll go to the cabin.”
Tyler froze against Skylar once more. The cabin? Right, they had the cabin. But Skylar had been so against the cabin before! “The cabin?” he asked, fingers tightening around the fabric of Skylar’s shirt. “I fixed it up. I-I added a gym downstairs. And there’s hot water. I checked.” Nodding, staring at the floor with eyes that weren’t actually seeing anything, Tyler added, “We’ll go to the cabin.”
Mimicking his brother’s gesture, Skylar nodded. “We’ll go to the cabin,” he repeated. “Just until I figure something else out. But this late notice…we don’t really have a choice.” It wasn’t ideal, but it was better than nothing. Especially after this little debacle. “Do you think you can go start packing your stuff up? Nothing too crazy…just enough to get by. We don’t want Mom and Dad thinking someone cleared out your room, or anything.”
Again, Tyler nodded. “Yeah, I can get some stuff packed up,” he answered. “I don’t need a lot. Just my computer and my notebooks for school. We can get body wash and stuff somewhere so I don’t have to take the one from here, right?” When Skylar nodded, Tyler beamed at him. “Thank you. You’re always looking out for me. You take such good care of me. You’re a really great brother.”
With that, Tyler headed to his room to start packing for their big move.
Skylar waited until Tyler disappeared down the hall before releasing a shaky breath. The cabin. God, he couldn’t believe he’d agreed to it. But what choice did he have? Tyler was falling apart. And right now, keeping him safe mattered more than anything else.